Meghan, Harry & Their Unhealed Trauma

Meghan is not a feminist and Harry is not a healthy, happy family man — no matter what they proclaim.

My biggest takeaway from the British royal family: people with mental health issues who have power, money, and influence are dangerous — Princess Diana, King Charles III, Meghan, and Harry are top of the list for reasons listed in this article.

I wish everyone who grew up in a dysfunctional family who has experienced trauma could earn upwards of $150 million for sharing their story.

I wish all of us, as we made huge mistakes and blamed others for our inner emotional pain, could be compensated by the world’s most powerful media companies to tell the populace all about it.

Imagine how many stories there are of people who are depressed, anxious, and traumatized…but who don’t have hundreds of millions of dollars to get the help they need?

Actually, according to the data in 2019–2020, 20.78% of adults were experiencing a mental illness. That is equivalent to over 50 million Americans. Millions of adults in the U.S. experience serious thoughts of suicide, with the highest rate among multiracial individuals. Almost a third (28.2%) of all adults with a mental illness reported that they were not able to receive the treatment they needed. 10.8% (over 5.5 million) of adults with mental illness are uninsured (source).

Imagine two people who know what it’s like to suffer and who have the financial means — and a charity organization — helping the people who need it the most.

What would that look like?

Probably not a family just chilling with their chickens in a mansion in Montecito bagging out their in-laws to anyone who will listen.

Probably something more along the lines of campaigns and donations and heartfelt actions to help…I mean their mentor is Oprah so I’m sure they could get some guidance.

Then why aren’t Meghan and Harry doing that?

The only answer I can arrive at is this one: Harry and Meghan do not understand that they are both deeply traumatized by dysfunctional family dynamics and have not fully healed, nor does it sound like they really want to (blame is not healing).

They should seriously consider how they are projecting their own issues onto others. For example, Harry, are you really angry that your brother is the future king and not you? And Meghan, it reads more like you’re just upset that you have to curtsey to Catherine.

Themes and keywords for Harry and Meghan to consider include wounded child, father wound, mother wound, Oedipus complex, trauma bonding, orphan, golden child/scapegoat, sibling rivalry, narcissism, victim mindset, intergenerational trauma…I could go on.

I’m just calling a spade a spade. From where I sit, I’m not seeing abuse. I’m seeing toxic family dynamics, serious mental health issues, and two people projecting their own issues onto their family members from across an ocean who do not necessarily deserve it.

Yes, life is hard. I get it. Living on the world stage seems harder too. But still.

I know Harry consciously understands that his mental health needs work. But Meghan “the golden child/wife/mother” merely paints a perfect picture (which is typically what narcissists do) of her younger years as a bi-racial child living with a divorced, single, black mother in Los Angeles as a fairy tale.

I do not condone racism at all and have zero tolerance for it, but I also don’t see racism as the main reason why Harry and Meghan left the UK.

I’m a white US citizen living in Australia, but I still know that life for Meghan and her mother would have been very, very hard and still continues to be as black and bi-racial women. But what exactly is Meghan doing for the black community in the US and the UK? Meanwhile, they are showing massive support for her and Harry.

With so much power at their fingertips, why haven’t these two gotten the proper assistance to help them unravel those aspects of their personas that are based on survival and coping?

Did they consult with mental health professionals before telling these stories? I’m certain if they did, they would have been told to avoid disclosing so many deeply personal details about themselves and others.

These “stories” are best shared in private with professionals. Not to mention, so many of these details will put his family in more danger (Taliban, etc.) — the danger is the main reason he left the UK, right?

So many contradictions, and so little healing.

Why do they think their story is so important for us to hear? Why don’t they champion the stories of others? I just do not understand their strategy beyond self-aggrandizing.

And last time I checked, if you truly loved someone, you would not encourage them to alienate themselves in a foreign country away from all their family and friends. Love brings people together, not the opposite. Love heals.

We saw it at the wedding and then merely months later, it was gone.

So then the question becomes if Harry and Meghan truly loved each other, would this be happening? I’ll let you decide.

All Words, No Action

Yes, Harry has supported a life coaching organization BetterUp, but life coaching and healing trauma are two VERY different things. I would not trust a life coach with my trauma.

So then what should we do with all this sharing?

There is an age-old adage that I recommend: watch what people do, not what they say.

Harry says he is dedicated to helping people struggling with mental health and Meghan says she’s a feminist — but how they behave tells another story.

Happy men don’t launch smear campaigns and dwell on past hurts and tit-for-tat scorecards. Telling your “story” (which is a strange word to use because it implies a fictional slant) is only the first step in the healing process. But in order to heal, you have to tell the truth — not a slanted version of events that poses you as the absolute victim.

Harry experienced harassment by the media, his parents fighting and publically divorcing, and disclosing private family information followed by the death of his mother that he was not able to properly grieve and process.

He joined the military and killed others. His PTSD needs serious attention. It may be affecting his ability to process emotions and information rationally (PTSD in a child can stunt emotional development and affect brain development).

But self-proclaimed “victims” can be just as harmful and abusive as their abusers and even narcissists themselves.

Harry just seems possessed by Meghan and the toxicity that she appears to enjoy. Perhaps this is what reminds him so much of his mother.

As an actress, Meghan smiled and held a briefcase in five-inch heels on a game show and sauntered around a fake legal office as a vixen paralegal. Then she married a prince.

Not exactly Gloria Steinem.

As the wife of Prince Harry, she dropped her entire career, smiled, waved, and quickly got pregnant — thrice — wearing insanely high heels.

Again, I’m struggling to find feminism no matter how much she talks about the rights of women.

Does she deserve the ridicule and abuse she receives from the media? No, not at all. Some of it is violent and deplorable. But that does not then give her the right to drag us into her drama.

With fame comes exposure, good and bad.

I’ve tried to empathize. I remember when I realized just how traumatized I was and it coincided with motherhood.

After the birth of my first child, all my childhood trauma presented itself to me in a year-long battle of depression and anxiety.

Eventually, I had to come to the very difficult realization that I needed help

But I can’t help but wonder what came up for Meghan and Harry about their childhood when Archie was born. Obviously, the kitchen sink.

Meghan has never said how she healed her postpartum depression — but she used it as a dramatic arc in her docuseries.

I too was a mother of two who got pregnant and raised children in another country, in another culture with unresolved trauma. And it was a long road to heal (in fact, it took almost a decade).

What I did not do is attack my family, fight newspapers, play the victim or cry to Oprah about feeling helpless. I found psychologists, and support and learned how to heal my trauma. And now I teach other people how to do the same.

So rather than blame an institution that would not bend to your demands, or throw bombs at family members, why aren’t these two grown adults taking any accountability for their mental health and making that a part of their story?

How are you healing, Harry and Meghan? That’s the story I want to hear.

Or are you just bringing out the worst in each other?

Because what I’m seeing is the first phase — when you get mad about what happened to you. But anger hides despair. And being in a constant state of anger isn’t healing. And it isn’t worth our time.

Let us know when you’ve done the work and sorted yourselves out. Then we’ll be ready to hear your story.

Right now, it’s just “look at us, we are victims, listen to our story,” a narrative conveniently used to land media deals.

But nothing of true value.

I do not believe that any member of Harry’s family would be safe to speak to him going forward as he has clearly demonstrated that he will repeat whatever is said further damaging their reputation and his.

Until I see Harry and Meghan stop profiting off their unresolved trauma, I will not sing any praises, but rather ask them to take responsibility and accountability.

You are no role model of mine until you actually heal.

But at least the British taxpayers no longer have to support you. At least you are earning your own income.

But one last thing…imagine if we could all be paid millions of dollars to despair of the very family who caused us all our pain and suffering. How wealthy we all would be!

Perhaps Harry and Meghan should set up a charity to do exactly this — that’s the only type of compensation they seem to understand.

From now on, until they heal, let’s do them a favor and ignore them. Let’s only give our attention to the mentally well.

Please note, I grew up in the United States but now reside in Australia as a citizen (and ironically, the “subject” of King Charles III). I have a unique perspective when it comes to the monarchy, and while I would love to see Australia remain a Commonwealth country, but remove Charles as head of state, I do not condemn the monarchy or excuse the behavior of Harry towards his family simply because he grew up a prince, married an American and resides in the US. These issues are much more complex and point to mental health as an overarching theme, not a British institution. And attacking and putting people in danger because you feel wronged or need to protect/support your family is not the path to healing or admirable no matter the claims or intentions.

Christina Cannes is a coach, hypnotherapist, and nutritionist helping entrepreneurs uplevel their life and business with Belief Hacking™. If you’re ready to drop the subconscious programs, trauma, and emotions that prevent you from being who you truly are and creating an amazing life visit her website here.